Something blue....

It wasn't so long ago, that I, as a swinging single lady with a penchant for telling outrageous lies while drunk, hit upon what, in hindsight, could have been the great idea that produced the financial windfall I'm so in need of right now.

Let me set the scene. It's 4 years ago, fleet week, Manhattan. I am 5 miller lites to the wind and in some dive bar in Hell's Kitchen. A couple of sailor's approach my friends and me and ask what exactly it is that we do for a living. I'm tired of saying teacher, so I go for the next occupation that comes to mind, "I'm a foot model on a foot fetish website." Say whaaaaa? They ask, "Oh really? What's the name of your website?"

Now in most situations that call for quick thinking, I'm a real bomber. Seriously, if I was ever representing on family fued, I'd probably respond,"weiner," for most answers. But in this one case the gods of wit shone down upon me, "Pedifile.com." I replied. "Prove it," they demanded. And of course I had just so happened to have returned from the beach where in another drunken state took a picture of my foot next to my friend's foot as they lay next to each other as we both were pissing in parallel toilets. "This one is for my voyuerism section," I told them. They then asked to take a picture with my famous porno feet to show their friends back home, and of course I obliged.

If only I had pursued that brilliant little piece of intellectual property, I could have paid for my dream wedding on the perverted pennies of foot fetishists, but I supposed we all have those coulda shoulda moments.

But this idea did get me thinking: What about my poor little sexy feet after a night of dancing? I can't exactly slip on some havaianas in February when the blisters start a poppin'. That's when I remembered a recent bogo spree I had. Flats, my friends are back and they are back with a vengeance. Not only that but they are more fun then ever. If there is anything I believe in, it's that a bride should have a dirty little secret, and if it's hiding under her skirt, all the better. Check out this fun (and cheap!) flats I found on payless.com and zappos. They're all under $40 and the slippers I found on LL Bean.com are the perfect thing to start your honeymoon in...and at $29.00 cheaper than a year long membership at pedifile.com!