Started off the day with Rachel and an 8 cupcake sampler at Baked in Red Hook. Rachel was very nice and took down some of our info while we sipped our free coffee. We tried the Vanilla with Vanilla buttercream frosting, Oreo (chocolate with vanilla buttercream), Salty Sweet (chocolate with salted caramel frosting), Pistachio, Oopsy Daisy (Chocolate with peanut butter frosting), Coffe (Chocolate with coffee frosting), Lemon Drop and the Red Velvet (the spin is that they use cinnamon buttercream as opposed to the ubiquitous cream cheese). I was really looking forward to trying the coconut, but they didn't have it, and the citrus passion fruit. They ended up slicing me a piece of the latter.
5 minutes later my fiance and I were surrounded by cupcake wrappers and talking like Sylverster Stallone following a sugar stroke. Rachel was patient, however and wrote up an estimate for 11 dozen cupcakes and one 8 inch round cake. At two bucks a cupcake, $39 for the cake, $50 delivery and $25 for the cupcake stand we were looking at $383 total. We chose 4 different flavors: pistachio, citrus passionfruit, oopsy daisy and salty sweet. We had no need to fancy up the cakes, the presentation is classy and fun so no extra cost on that. We can change our order up to two weeks to the event and bonus: The head baker (chef?) is appearing on Top Chef: Just Desserts. I'll be dropping that to all my relatives looking for some NYC wow factor.
We did go to our appointment at Sweet Sugar Sunshine, but did not like the attitude or the cupcake selection. Frankly for 50 cents less a cupcake, they lacked the sophistication we got from Baked (picture birthday cupcakes a la mom). The Baked cakes may not be as breathtakingly beautiful as Cupcake Cafe, but they are half the price and the flavors are much more exciting.
If cupcakes are not your, um, piece of cake? I recommend Momofuku Milk Bar. My sister had her wedding cake made there last weekend and it was AMAZING and just as cheap at $350 for a 3 tier. Not sure what they charge for tax or tip, but the flavor was apple pie cake and included layers of cheesecake filling. My fiance had a boner after half a slice. Thank you Momofuku :)
Monday, September 27, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Cupcakes or a lady on the street and a freak in the bed.
It's noon on a Sunday and I haven't seen my fiance in over a month. I'm craving something naughty.
I used to date someone with an internet porn addiction. I could not understand it at the time. But today, whilst scouring the world wide web for wedding cupcakes, I'm starting to empathize with the intangible high of oodling sweet muffins you can't have. I started by looking up the sweet butter cream and merigue clusters of Sugar Sweet Sunshine. Tart lemon, sweet pistachio and pure coconut morsels layered on top of cupcake trees just asking for it. At $1.50 per cupcake, they truly are the bottom bitches of value. I then jump to BabyCakes with their spelt, dairy-free, egg-free agave sweetend little nature cakes that all of a sudden make me feel like I'm visually humping a birkenstock. Next I'm over to Billy's Bakery where the icing looks like it's been whipped like a gimp into a frothy tower. (Seriously, why isn't everything covered in icing?) But without a price tag anywhere in sight and an over hyping of an already too overly hyped flavor of red velvet. I feel like, I need something edgier. I need to go to the next level...And I'm not talking about the village door knobs (everyone's had a turn) Magnolia Bakery and Crumbs, I need the money shot. I'm going back to an old favorite. I used to date someone at the Cupcake Cafe. At the end of two months I had to decide, my waist line, or death by buttercream? I had to break it off...but I never forgot them. Visual stunners and affordable at $2.75-$4.00 for ordered small/large.
Eleni's is like the girl next door of cupcakes and at $60 for a cupcake tower for 100, she's a cheap date. The prices for personalized cupcakes skyrocket to about $50 for a dozen....hmmm maybe she won't put out after all. This is when I decide to go rogue and check out a Red Hook honey. Interestingly enough, the term "hooker" orignated from the women of the night in Red Hook, Brooklyn....maybe this is a sign. Anyway Baked seems to have it all: lusty, ecclectic flavors and a classy exterior. The Madonna and the whore.
After an hour of searching I have three appointments set up: Sugar Sweet Sunshine, Baked and Cupcake Cafe. Tune in sometime next week for the final show down!
I used to date someone with an internet porn addiction. I could not understand it at the time. But today, whilst scouring the world wide web for wedding cupcakes, I'm starting to empathize with the intangible high of oodling sweet muffins you can't have. I started by looking up the sweet butter cream and merigue clusters of Sugar Sweet Sunshine. Tart lemon, sweet pistachio and pure coconut morsels layered on top of cupcake trees just asking for it. At $1.50 per cupcake, they truly are the bottom bitches of value. I then jump to BabyCakes with their spelt, dairy-free, egg-free agave sweetend little nature cakes that all of a sudden make me feel like I'm visually humping a birkenstock. Next I'm over to Billy's Bakery where the icing looks like it's been whipped like a gimp into a frothy tower. (Seriously, why isn't everything covered in icing?) But without a price tag anywhere in sight and an over hyping of an already too overly hyped flavor of red velvet. I feel like, I need something edgier. I need to go to the next level...And I'm not talking about the village door knobs (everyone's had a turn) Magnolia Bakery and Crumbs, I need the money shot. I'm going back to an old favorite. I used to date someone at the Cupcake Cafe. At the end of two months I had to decide, my waist line, or death by buttercream? I had to break it off...but I never forgot them. Visual stunners and affordable at $2.75-$4.00 for ordered small/large.
Eleni's is like the girl next door of cupcakes and at $60 for a cupcake tower for 100, she's a cheap date. The prices for personalized cupcakes skyrocket to about $50 for a dozen....hmmm maybe she won't put out after all. This is when I decide to go rogue and check out a Red Hook honey. Interestingly enough, the term "hooker" orignated from the women of the night in Red Hook, Brooklyn....maybe this is a sign. Anyway Baked seems to have it all: lusty, ecclectic flavors and a classy exterior. The Madonna and the whore.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Do me a FAVOR, take this crap and love it!
Favors. Why they are called favors, I have no idea. In most cases I feel that I am the one doing the favor by taking that little, superfluous piece of crap off the bride and groom's hands. I mean really, my purse is barely big enough to carry a camera, my wallet, lip gloss and keys. Now you are asking me to shove in a small bag of chocolate covered almonds or a tchotcke that is only going to collect dust until I throw it out 6 mos later? I have to walk around carrying a picture frame an inch tall with YOUR faces in it? A box of four whitman's chocolates? Seriously? The only thing I want at 11 pm after a night of trying to drink the $200 I gifted out of the open bar is a bacon sandwich and a bath.
So now I am sitting in the same position as countless other brides thinking, "What can I give my guests that costs less than $2 that will make them feel how much I appreciate them spending $200 on a hotel room, $300 on plane tickets and buying us the rice maker of our dreams?"
So I thought: What do people want in the dead of a February night, after hours of drinking and dancing? Well probably more to drink, something to warm them, and something very unhealthy. And that's when I got the idea! A hot chocolate bar with "to go" cups and a bottle of peppermint schnapps on the side to Irish up their to go treats as much as they like.
So now I am sitting in the same position as countless other brides thinking, "What can I give my guests that costs less than $2 that will make them feel how much I appreciate them spending $200 on a hotel room, $300 on plane tickets and buying us the rice maker of our dreams?"
So I thought: What do people want in the dead of a February night, after hours of drinking and dancing? Well probably more to drink, something to warm them, and something very unhealthy. And that's when I got the idea! A hot chocolate bar with "to go" cups and a bottle of peppermint schnapps on the side to Irish up their to go treats as much as they like.
I found some classic NY paper cups for $36 for 100 and white hot chocolate recipes and mixes. I thought I could set up a table near the door where guests can make their own or take some home. Either way, sipping that hot, sugary treat will feel like a soothing hug. Just what I want my guests to feel at the end of a perfect night.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Invitations or Why cutting paper requires a PhD.
Right about when I was feeling my lowest, the immediate moment that I thought, "That's it, the only person I can count on is myself..." I got the call. My friend offered to help me make my invitations, more than that she offered an ear, some sound advice and a couple of, "Well they can just go fuck themselves," to the world ...Basically she handed me a perfectly mixed cocktail of love and support. I bought a ticket to Pittsburgh for $100 and packed my bags. Frankly the invitations were just a beard. I needed three days in pajamas saturated in girl talk and carbs.
We began by going to Walmart. I bought $30 worth of Steeler's pajamas which I promptly wore all weekend. We went to an all you can eat sushi/chinese restaurant. "I can't eat anymore!" I remember saying while defending myself from more potstickers. "But they have soft serve," my friend said. Oh sweet West Virginia Jesus, I was beaten. After I had eaten my way through the first day, we finally got down to some serious work.
My friend Danielle could put Martha Stewart out of a job. She makes it look so easy with quick, artist hands. However after she handed me the razor with the instructions to cut 50 30" x 7" strips of paper I became rapidly aware of my own limitations. I couldn't keep the razor straight, or the ruler would slide ruining my straight line. I ruined feet of paper and bleeted expletives and apologies in front of her two year old son. I almost gave up. I ran my razor through my brand new Walmart pajamas. But Danielle's gentle laughs at my missteps and investment in both my invitations and self kept me going. At the end of the second day I was hot gluing like Wyatt Earp if he subscribed to Real Simple.
Halfway through the trip I told Danielle, "There are just some things worth paying for." At the time I meant that my frustrated attempts at creatively saving a few bucks were not worth feeling like the world's biggest anti-craft loser or the back pain associated with kneeling while scoring countless reems of paper. But after personally making 50 invitations for less than $50 and the $100 it took to be flown away to the magic land of West Virginia, where people have manners, endless supplies of ice cream and friends who truly have your back...well that and the Steelers pjs were worth every cent.
Dani's told me I can't post pics of the invites until I send them out, so we'll have to wait on that. I will say that I was able to put together invites, response cards, reception cards and envelopes for less than $50. I've asked her for some pics of her other invites. Let's see if she posts them...www.daniellebartran.blogspot.com
Here's a pic of Dani's son and I being fabulous on a Friday afternoon. Nothing like a younger man to remind you when it's time to toss aside the pajamas and flash what your mama gave ya!
We began by going to Walmart. I bought $30 worth of Steeler's pajamas which I promptly wore all weekend. We went to an all you can eat sushi/chinese restaurant. "I can't eat anymore!" I remember saying while defending myself from more potstickers. "But they have soft serve," my friend said. Oh sweet West Virginia Jesus, I was beaten. After I had eaten my way through the first day, we finally got down to some serious work.
My friend Danielle could put Martha Stewart out of a job. She makes it look so easy with quick, artist hands. However after she handed me the razor with the instructions to cut 50 30" x 7" strips of paper I became rapidly aware of my own limitations. I couldn't keep the razor straight, or the ruler would slide ruining my straight line. I ruined feet of paper and bleeted expletives and apologies in front of her two year old son. I almost gave up. I ran my razor through my brand new Walmart pajamas. But Danielle's gentle laughs at my missteps and investment in both my invitations and self kept me going. At the end of the second day I was hot gluing like Wyatt Earp if he subscribed to Real Simple.
Halfway through the trip I told Danielle, "There are just some things worth paying for." At the time I meant that my frustrated attempts at creatively saving a few bucks were not worth feeling like the world's biggest anti-craft loser or the back pain associated with kneeling while scoring countless reems of paper. But after personally making 50 invitations for less than $50 and the $100 it took to be flown away to the magic land of West Virginia, where people have manners, endless supplies of ice cream and friends who truly have your back...well that and the Steelers pjs were worth every cent.
Dani's told me I can't post pics of the invites until I send them out, so we'll have to wait on that. I will say that I was able to put together invites, response cards, reception cards and envelopes for less than $50. I've asked her for some pics of her other invites. Let's see if she posts them...www.daniellebartran.blogspot.com
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Something blue....
It wasn't so long ago, that I, as a swinging single lady with a penchant for telling outrageous lies while drunk, hit upon what, in hindsight, could have been the great idea that produced the financial windfall I'm so in need of right now.
Let me set the scene. It's 4 years ago, fleet week, Manhattan. I am 5 miller lites to the wind and in some dive bar in Hell's Kitchen. A couple of sailor's approach my friends and me and ask what exactly it is that we do for a living. I'm tired of saying teacher, so I go for the next occupation that comes to mind, "I'm a foot model on a foot fetish website." Say whaaaaa? They ask, "Oh really? What's the name of your website?"
Now in most situations that call for quick thinking, I'm a real bomber. Seriously, if I was ever representing on family fued, I'd probably respond,"weiner," for most answers. But in this one case the gods of wit shone down upon me, "Pedifile.com." I replied. "Prove it," they demanded. And of course I had just so happened to have returned from the beach where in another drunken state took a picture of my foot next to my friend's foot as they lay next to each other as we both were pissing in parallel toilets. "This one is for my voyuerism section," I told them. They then asked to take a picture with my famous porno feet to show their friends back home, and of course I obliged.
If only I had pursued that brilliant little piece of intellectual property, I could have paid for my dream wedding on the perverted pennies of foot fetishists, but I supposed we all have those coulda shoulda moments.
But this idea did get me thinking: What about my poor little sexy feet after a night of dancing? I can't exactly slip on some havaianas in February when the blisters start a poppin'. That's when I remembered a recent bogo spree I had. Flats, my friends are back and they are back with a vengeance. Not only that but they are more fun then ever. If there is anything I believe in, it's that a bride should have a dirty little secret, and if it's hiding under her skirt, all the better. Check out this fun (and cheap!) flats I found on payless.com and zappos. They're all under $40 and the slippers I found on LL Bean.com are the perfect thing to start your honeymoon in...and at $29.00 cheaper than a year long membership at pedifile.com!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
When a rose smells like a rip off and why I love Emily Thompson
I thought I was a low-key bride. That is until I went to Academy Flowers. After looking through a million bridal magazines at Barnes and Noble, I knew exactly what I didn't want: the same bouquet as everyone else. I found nothing inspiring and couldn't imagine paying $200 for a bouquet I didn't love. While looking through marthastewart.com I found what I thought was a perfect compromise: a small nosegay of violets.
On my way home from work that day I stopped by the florist on the same corner as my church and venue. I told them I was getting married in the area and was wondering if they could give me some estimates. I couldn't even get the word violets out before I heard a huge release of air behind me, "Ummm you don't want violets." That's funny, I thought I did. "They are very hard to work with," he added. Okay, well what about gardeni-- "Uuughhh!" exclaimed the saleslady whilst tilting her fact to the heavens. "You do NOT want gardenias. I mean I've never actually worked with them but I've heard they.." "Turn brown when you touch them?" I supplied. "John, how much are the gardenias if you wanted them on a boutinerre? $16?" "Actually $20," Now I knew they were not only trying to crush my dreams, they were trying to upsell me too. "Didn't you bring like a binder or something?" she asked. "Um no."
I couldn't have gotten out of there faster. I also never wanted to talk to anyone about flowers ever again. That was until I met Emily Thompson through a friend of mine. Ms. Thompson owns a shop in DUMBO that doesn't even have any signage, just wild, beautiful plants climbing out her door and down a small staircase. When I walked in she didn't ask for a binder, she asked about my dress, about my fiance, the time of year and the venue. She was able to find a common thematic ground between my 1930s aesthetic and the fried chicken I was serving. She even offered to work well below her normal budget to fit into mine ($800) and told me, "Don't worry, we'll stretch it as far as it can go and whatever I can't do, I will tell you exactly how to do it cheap and easy on your own." I felt like I just got a wedding planner and a flower designer for a rock bottom price. I still don't even refer to her as a florist. I feel that is below her in some way. In November she's even taking me out to the flower district to see which flowers look good on me. I mean really, this is exactly the way every bride wants to be treated.
http://www.emilythompsonflowers.com/
On my way home from work that day I stopped by the florist on the same corner as my church and venue. I told them I was getting married in the area and was wondering if they could give me some estimates. I couldn't even get the word violets out before I heard a huge release of air behind me, "Ummm you don't want violets." That's funny, I thought I did. "They are very hard to work with," he added. Okay, well what about gardeni-- "Uuughhh!" exclaimed the saleslady whilst tilting her fact to the heavens. "You do NOT want gardenias. I mean I've never actually worked with them but I've heard they.." "Turn brown when you touch them?" I supplied. "John, how much are the gardenias if you wanted them on a boutinerre? $16?" "Actually $20," Now I knew they were not only trying to crush my dreams, they were trying to upsell me too. "Didn't you bring like a binder or something?" she asked. "Um no."
I couldn't have gotten out of there faster. I also never wanted to talk to anyone about flowers ever again. That was until I met Emily Thompson through a friend of mine. Ms. Thompson owns a shop in DUMBO that doesn't even have any signage, just wild, beautiful plants climbing out her door and down a small staircase. When I walked in she didn't ask for a binder, she asked about my dress, about my fiance, the time of year and the venue. She was able to find a common thematic ground between my 1930s aesthetic and the fried chicken I was serving. She even offered to work well below her normal budget to fit into mine ($800) and told me, "Don't worry, we'll stretch it as far as it can go and whatever I can't do, I will tell you exactly how to do it cheap and easy on your own." I felt like I just got a wedding planner and a flower designer for a rock bottom price. I still don't even refer to her as a florist. I feel that is below her in some way. In November she's even taking me out to the flower district to see which flowers look good on me. I mean really, this is exactly the way every bride wants to be treated.
http://www.emilythompsonflowers.com/
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Why I'm happy women love cheese...
People tell you all the time that you don't need a lot of money to throw a great wedding. My dad loves to tell me that it brings out my creative side. "You go to so many weddings where they spend all this money and they all come out the same. You'll figure it out," he says. By the way "you'll figure it out," is not what I want to hear. What I want to hear is, "I just discovered this high-yield savings account I forgot all about. Hows about 40 grand?"
Anyway, I heard it so much I almost started to believe that there was some truth in it. That the more lavish the wedding the more it sucked out the intimacy and individuality of the event. That is until I went to a gazillion dollar wedding at the Waldorf Astoria and promptly realized that the only reason people were telling me this was because I didn't have a choice.
Never before have I seen a more amazing chuppah. It was as if the flower covered trees were bowing to each other in reverence. The string ensemble that accompanied the 20 minute processional had me blowing my nose inside my program. The dress, the veil that went on for days. The collared, 3/4 sleeve shrug that was exactly what I had been looking for all year, made the bride look that perfect blend of beautiful, graceful and nervous. Walking into the reception all I could see were 4 ft. topiarys to rival a terra cotta army and 100 ft ceilings. There was a 12 piece band...The last time I saw that many people on stage was watching MC Hammer videos and trying to do the "2 legit 2 quit" hand signals. And the couple, so in love, eyes catching each other as they were pulled by different friends and relatives in all different directions. There was no denying it. This was not only the grandest wedding I had ever been too, it was also so filled with love in every tiny, possible detail.
Moral of the story, kids? NEVER go to a wedding at the Waldorf Astoria while planning your own. You'll only realize that money really can buy you the wedding of your dreams. But I know what people will say, they'll say, "But everyone has a sushi bar, you're going to have chicken quesadillas! Who doesn't love a quesadilla?!" And that's where I gotta admit that they might be right because the only thing my friends love more than me is cheese, thick...melty...delicious cheese. This might be the only wedding where some guacamole trumps the Waldorf.
Anyway, I heard it so much I almost started to believe that there was some truth in it. That the more lavish the wedding the more it sucked out the intimacy and individuality of the event. That is until I went to a gazillion dollar wedding at the Waldorf Astoria and promptly realized that the only reason people were telling me this was because I didn't have a choice.
Never before have I seen a more amazing chuppah. It was as if the flower covered trees were bowing to each other in reverence. The string ensemble that accompanied the 20 minute processional had me blowing my nose inside my program. The dress, the veil that went on for days. The collared, 3/4 sleeve shrug that was exactly what I had been looking for all year, made the bride look that perfect blend of beautiful, graceful and nervous. Walking into the reception all I could see were 4 ft. topiarys to rival a terra cotta army and 100 ft ceilings. There was a 12 piece band...The last time I saw that many people on stage was watching MC Hammer videos and trying to do the "2 legit 2 quit" hand signals. And the couple, so in love, eyes catching each other as they were pulled by different friends and relatives in all different directions. There was no denying it. This was not only the grandest wedding I had ever been too, it was also so filled with love in every tiny, possible detail.
Moral of the story, kids? NEVER go to a wedding at the Waldorf Astoria while planning your own. You'll only realize that money really can buy you the wedding of your dreams. But I know what people will say, they'll say, "But everyone has a sushi bar, you're going to have chicken quesadillas! Who doesn't love a quesadilla?!" And that's where I gotta admit that they might be right because the only thing my friends love more than me is cheese, thick...melty...delicious cheese. This might be the only wedding where some guacamole trumps the Waldorf.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)